i was recently told that the fruit in florida sucks. i was told that florida is too good for georigia peaches which makes no sense considering georgia is one state away. my response? "phhhhttttthhhh, whateva! fruit is fruit." FALSE!!!!!! i go to my dear, close to my heart local Publix (boy, did i miss publix) and i mosey on over to the produce section. in an attempt to become more healthy because i live in miami and i'm starting to do yoga and dance again so i don't have to throw up to look good amongst these skinny bitches, i pick up some plums. i thought they looked somewhat malnourished, but i took a couple anyhow and went on my way. as i packed my daily snacks for work this morning i thought, "ooooo, i'll take one of those tiny plums to work and have it before yoga, look at me, i'm so fucking healthy." i get to work and at approximately 12:00 p.m. eastern central time (i totally made that eastern central thing up, i have no idea what that shit even means), i fill my water bottle, wash my plum (if you can even call it that) and take a seat. expecting to take a big bite and have juicy juiciness, to my surprise, the damn thing is hard and not juicy at all. it's bad. i don't like it and i'm angry with florida's shitty produce. so here i am, staring at the core of a shitty plum dreading tomorrow when i have to eat the other shitty plum that is sitting in my kitchen. god help florida if their avocados suck, i will snap.
UPDATE: I HAVEN'T EATEN A FLORIDA PLUM SINCE. THE AVOCADOS ARE GOOD.